I’m writing to get my day started. I’ve got great prompts from this site.
Today’s question is…
“What do you care most about? As in, what do you give yourself to most freely? How could you care for it a little more perfectly? How does caring for this thing outside yourself actually help you trust yourself more?”
Honestly, without kids, a girlfriend, a wife, a house or any of that good stuff, I care the most about my career. Not the stupid bullshit job where I copy edit insurance training manuals, but my writing career.
I would like to care for it more by doing it more and actually finishing these effing books, sending these beautiful manuscripts to publishers, getting them published and have people enjoy reading them (or hating them).
Writing is why I got up and left the Dakotas. Writing is why I don’t do much of much during the week and sometimes the weekend. When I almost died I didn’t think, “I wish I would have worked harder at my job as a real estate magazine,” “I should have married that one girl” or “I bet life would have been more complete if I took more photos of the food I eat.” Nope. I thought, “Fuck. I really should have finished writing those fucking books I said I’d finish.”
How can I write more to trust myself more? Well, I can always “not write.” Watching TV, sleeping, getting high and jerking off are really easy. Writing can be too, but it takes a lot of work.
The thing is, nobody gives a shit if I watched that movie last night. Maybe they won’t give a shit that I published a book, but maybe they will. That keeps me being self reliant and pounding the keys.